But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. – II Cor. 12:9
When I watch sporting events and the announcers tell me that so-and-so is questionable because of a sore hamstring or right bicep, I expect the person to perform well regardless. It’s not a fair expectation, but I have it anyway. I think it’s because I have never had never had those particular injuries, I can’t immediately put myself into the position of imagining what playing the sport while nursing those injuries feels like.
Here’s what I do know about: sore throats. Over the past two weeks, I’ve had what amounts to a canker sore on my epiglottis. My entire mouth hurts any time that I swallow. This consequently makes simple and important tasks like eating and sleeping and talking painful.
This is a comparatively small thing. I wonder if I had this ailment for a month, I would adjust and the pain would start to become cognitively dull for me. It doesn’t feel that way today.
What I do know is that it makes teaching hard. I feel like I’m playing injured. I have not told my students about my ailment, but I wonder if my demeanor is different or if they have same faulty expectations of me that I do of athletes: “Hey, if he’s up there teaching, he must be at full strength.”
I realize how often I’m guilty of assuming things just by examining students’ demeanors. They’re in class so they must be at full strength. Their waning attention is a moral or intellectual lapse, not a result of the physical or emotional toll outside circumstances have taken on them.
My sore throat has made me thankful. I take smaller bites of food and end up savoring it more. I choose my words sparingly and end up listening more.
It also makes me think about all the things I consider my strengths. If God’s strength is made perfect in weakness and I’m waiting for my own perfection to perform well, I’m elevating my own strengths above God’s. I don’t want to play hurt and because of that, I can’t see the ways I play hurt even when I think I’m fine. A sore throat is better than the millstone of pride, and I pray that emerge from this ailment healthier and humbler.