I have been meditating on Psalm 139 this week. Psalm 139 shows the poet astounded by the depth and accuracy of God’s knowledge of him. In moments of doubt, surrounded by wickedness, the speaker knows that God is there and know his righteousness.
Two things have stood out to me.
First, I must always remain cognizant of God’s knowledge first and my knowledge second. I am prone to start with my own quest and only after I’ve discovered something reach out to position it regarding God’s truth. This passage reminds me that my knowledge of myself and the world pales in comparison to God. It is an encouragement to rely on this truth and a provocation to pray for this knowledge to be revealed to me as I follow God.
Second, I realized that my obsession with my own knowledge is rooted in fear.
I am so invested in knowing—things, others, myself—that admitting when I’m wrong is hard.
But I am wrong. A lot.
I am fearful. I don’t want to admit that I’m wrong because it might compromise my authority. But there’s another fear I have, one I rarely admit to myself. I’m am at times afraid to declare the truth because of who I might offend.
I pray that this year God will give me the boldness to declare the truth even when I know it might offend and the humility to admit when I am wrong.