“When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.” Psalm 56:3
I memorized Psalm 56:3 when I was in kindergarten, but in my wildest dreams, I had never contemplated something like COVID-19 (or “the germs” as we refer to COVID when we’re talking with our daughter).
My list of fears included bread crust, snakes, and having to rake leaves.
My daughter is living in a different world, and her list of fears on any given day is long enough to fill thirty-seven books.
She’s scared of the dark, steep hills, daddy long legs, and her cousins’ dogs, just to name a few of her phobias. What, I wondered, would her reaction be if she actually encountered something worth fearing?
Well, Saturday was that time. She had been exposed to COVID-19 at her daycare earlier in the week, and it was time to see if she was carrying the virus or not.
My wife tried to explain what the test would involve: a quick sweep of her nose. My daughter’s questions were endless, and with every answer we provided, we seemingly caused her more anxiety.
Still, she was resilient. She developed some pretty great coping methods for an event I knew she was dreading.
#1. She started calling our trip “physical therapy,” something both her mom and dad had done during the past year. While this wasn’t entirely true, it was certainly better than saying we were making a field trip to the Nose Poker.
#2. She held on to the promise of ice cream if she was good. “So we’ll get ice cream when it’s over, right?” she asked again and again as we waited in the COVID-19 drive-through line. “Not just any ice cream,” I assured her. “Chocolate!”
#3. She brought her favorite stuffed toy, a cute bear named Almandine. Cat has security items from the time she was six months old: pacifiers, blankets, stuffed animals, and a variety of rocks. She gains comfort from something tangible that she can hold on to when times are tough. Almandine was along for this ride, and Cat clutched her tight as we moved closer to her test.
Of course, we prayed for her before, during, and after her test. We let her know as much as we can that God is always with her, no matter her circumstances, and that security items like Almandine are reminders of the fact that God is closer to her than her favorite toy.
When it was time for her test, the nurse requested that our daughter sit on my lap. I needed to hold her harms so that the test wouldn’t have to be run again when she tried to knock the dreaded Nose Poker away.
I saw a spiritual lesson in the events that ensued: my daughter sitting on my lap with me holding her harms and reassuring her as a stranger did something to her my daughter couldn’t understand, something that hurt even though I knew it was for her own good.
How similar, I reflected was this to our relationship with our Heavenly Father? How often has He held me in my arms while something happened that I didn’t understand, something that was happening for my own good though all I could feel was pain?
The idea that our relationship with God will be all unicorns and rainbows is as mythical as the unicorn. When we trust God when we are afraid, we grow more in our faith than we would otherwise. Just as my daughter needed to know her infection status, we need to know where our relationship with God is, and if we never go through a test — through something we fear — we’ll remain unaware of our state.
Fittingly, then, our daughter was rewarded for her bravery with a stuffed unicorn! It’s accompanied her to bed the last couple of nights.
The unicorn may be a fanciful creature, but God is very real. My daughter’s courage in the face of something worth fearing was inspiring, and it was a welcome reminder that when I’m afraid I need to trust Him.